Kokonoe's LOVE clinic
by Bloodbell
Summary: After getting sued by Hazama, Kokonoe is in a huge debt to Sector Seven so she started a love clinic to pay it off. Unfortunately, her patients are not so normal and Kokonoe has to go through a series of unstable patients a.k.a the Blazblue cast where you readers get to pick the next patient! Rated T for the lack of soap being used to clean off the swearing.
1. Love

I'm not sure if anyone has done this already but i was inspired to write this from Hakumen's help me professor kokonoe's segment. Kokonoe was trolling Hakumen about it was a love clinic and i found that hilarious. Anyways i apologize in advance if anyone has already wrote about a kokonoe love clinic story so feel free to inbox or message me and i will take it down immediately. Anyways, if not then enjoy!

x

"TAGER! Let's start now." Kokonoe urges Tager to hurry and turn on the camera already. They were making an advertisement for their new segment. It wasn't because her old segment was going bad, it was actually well received. It was just that Kokonoe got sued for damaging the premises and physically harming some of her guests. It wasn't her fault that the green bastard pissed her off! He definitely deserved getting sent to the island inhabited by cats a.k.a the Kaka village. Anyways, after all that Sector Seven lost a huge amount of their expenses and revenue so they made Kokonoe somehow gain all of it back or else they'll fire her. Who knew Hazama was a pretty good lawyer?

"Roger that." Tager turns the studio video camera towards Kokonoe. Lambda quickly finishes up the final touches for Kokonoe's clothing, nothing really changed about her standard appearance except for the white t-shirt with a red love heart imprinted on it.

"Okay Kokonoe we're on air in 5…4…3…2..." Tager pulls out a thumbs up to indicate the video camera was recording.

Some random as cheesy love music was playing as an introduction.

"_Love_~ is a feeling part of our everyday lives."

"_Love_~ is essential. Love is needed.

"Loved and Beloved." Kokonoe slowly turns around in her armchair towards the camera. Tager zooms in.

"This is Kokonoe's_ love _clinic, my clinic." Kokonoe gives a warm and friendly smile. It didn't suit her at all to her usual seemly permanent frown. It made Tager shiver. _"This is almost false advertisement already_." He thinks.

"Here I will be your doctor to all your _love _problems. From boyfriend and girlfriend problems or wife and husband or family to even unrequited_ love_~." Kokonoe slowly crosses her fingers together and set them down on the table, she adds strong emphasis every time she says the word love in a slight seductive tone.

"I have a double degree PHD in the sciences and human love expertise. So you can 99.95% rely on me. If you are that unfixable 0.05% then I will treat you to a free dinner at a five star restaurant but if you are that 99.95% then you'll be getting a special surprise for you and your lover." Kokonoe winks and gave a peace sign to the camera. "So please come along to my clinic and all your love worries will be professionally dealt with. See you soon!"

Lambda cues in and plays cheesy love music to end the advertisement. Tager stops recording the camera. Kokonoe immediately takes off the t-shirt.

"MAN THIS THING IS SO FREAKING HOT!" Kokonoe yells as she threw the t-shirt on the floor. Lambda quickly runs over and picks up the t-shirt.

"But Kokonoe you have to wear it to promote people into buying the shirts." Tager tried to reason with Kokonoe. Lambda approaches Kokonoe and hands out the shirt, Kokonoe sees that Lambda and even Tager is wearing the love shirt.

"…Professor Kokonoe must wear it for…her sake." Lambda speaks out. She looks at Kokonoe with her adorable big red cute eyes, giving her the sad puppy look. Kokonoe sighs and snatches the love shirt back.

"God dammit fine. I knew I shouldn't have installed the cute app for you." Kokonoe mostly mumbles to herself as she sat back down in her comfortable arm chair already snacking on her potato chips and reading her daily science advancement technology magazine and for some reason cat nip products. Yes it was in the same magazine.

The sound of a doorbell rang from the entrance. The sector seven trio glanced at each other.

"A customer already? We just finished airing literally 3 minutes ago…" Tager commented in surprise. Kokonoe groaned in annoyance that her short break was made shorter. Though in total honesty she was curious who her first customer was that was so keen on getting her wonderful brilliant advice and she was looking forward to do this segment. Lambda goes and opens the door.

"Wait Lambda! Let me do it." Kokonoe jumps out of her arm chair and drives her kitty scoter to the door. Tager drops a sweat at the scene. It was only like 5 meters away and she still uses the scoter, then again Kokonoe uses it to get out of her bed to her desk.

Lambda bows and steps asides as Kokonoe opens the door. Kokonoe greets the first customer with a bright shiny smile.

"Welcome to my clin-"

"This is quite the interesting building you have here Kokonoe." The "customer" commented as he continues to inspect the interior infrastructure of the building. The man at the door was the one and only Relius Clover.

Kokonoe slams the door and with a neutral face begins to walk away. The doorbell rang again.

"Oh for the love of-" Kokonoe stops her cursing as she opens the door again. "What do you want Relius?! I'm trying to run a love clinic here." She clenches her teeth, clearly she doesn't want him here.

"Well that's the point of my arrival. I happened to be in the area when I saw the advertisement. I am seeking for your suppose professional love advice." Relius sounded serious but Kokonoe didn't care.

Kokonoe slowly closes the door. "Sorry I said I would help couples not crazy-insane-old-perverted-sadistic bastards. Now bye." She slams the door again.

"Old…?" Surprisingly that was the only thing Relius picked up from the barrage of insults. Probably because most of them were true.

"But Kokonoe, even if it was Relius Clover, he was still a customer. We need all the money to repay for all the things you've done." Tager tried to rationalise with Kokonoe. She returned Tager with a cold hard glare.

"No way! I'll serve the next mentally stable person! Just not him!" Kokonoe huffed. Lambda placed her hand on Kokonoe's shoulder.

"…Please Professor Kokonoe…In your position…you cannot be picky…" Lambda gave her the puppy look again. Kokonoe groaned in defeat. How was this logical? How does that puppy look work every time dammit! She was half cat! Kokonoe stomped back to the door and opened it. Relius was still standing there.

"Alright fine come in." She sighed loudly. Relius smirked.

"I knew you would anyways. I've heard what happened between you and Hazama in the court case." The two old acquaintances walked to the table where the session will commence. Kokonoe felt irritated at the memory.

"Yeah, no shit. I saw you two high five each other at the bar afterwards." Kokonoe huffed in annoyance. Relius smirked again. "Well it was Hazama's first time attempting to be his own lawyer and became victorious. Wouldn't you agree that it was at least a little amusing?" Relius mused.

Kokonoe ignored Relius' question and gestured him to sit down as he pays her the money. Then she finally realised something, his puppet wife that usually follows him everywhere wasn't with him at the moment.

"Where's your puppet wife?" She had to ask straight away.

"Actually that's the issue here that I was going to address. We've been disputing a lot lately and it has finally taken a toll to my work." Relius admitted. Kokonoe takes a bite out of her chip. Wasn't his puppet wife muted and under his absolute control?

"She may be muted but it doesn't mean she can be a little…bit of a disturbance." Relius lowered his voice at the last few words. He instantly looks around him in paranoia. Kokonoe nodded her head, this was getting interesting.

"She interrupts my work to make me gather my laundry, forces me to wash the dishes and turns off the television as I was watching my precious discovery channel. We've argued numerous times and now when I am in battle she didn't even come to my aid when I summoned her. This was due to the fact that she suspects that I am cheating on her." Relius casually spoke like it was the most ridiculous thing he's ever heard. Kokonoe internally laughs out loud, even the great puppeteer Relius Clover goes through something so trivial such as 'wife problems.'

Kokonoe clears her throat before speaking. "Well have you been cheating on your wife? Or have done something that may have indicated it or seem like it?"

It took a few moments before Relius answered. "I believe I have gone to eat dinner with my co-worker Miss Litchi." Kokonoe nodded. "I see… a misunderstanding would obviously arise from that. If you haven't told your wife beforehand or explained to her then she would suspect something is up."

Relius nodded in agreement. "Hmm…perhaps you are correct. I didn't see it as a matter that had to be explained nor discussed. That is quite the advice you have there Kokonoe." He complimented. Kokonoe dropped a sweat. That was common sense. Anyways, she was about to ask about his son Carl before Relius interrupted her.

"I also may have had an intimate moment with one of the NOL nurses." Relius quickly added.

Suddenly, Ignis teleported behind him which made Kokonoe jump in surprise. "Ignis?!" Both Relius and Kokonoe shouted in complete shock. Ignis towered over Relius who was at a loss for words but then tried to explain himself. "Now hold on Ignis I said I 'may' have had an intimate moment so technically it could be not true."

"…" Ignis's eyes glowed bright in immense fury, she launched her large sharp claws and grabbed Relius's head. Kokonoe flinched, that looked like it hurt like hell. Relius was spouting all these random excuses to calm Ignis down but it was inevitable. Ignis then turned to Kokonoe and bowed to her, she also dropped some cash as to what seem to be for gratitude, she then teleported away with Relius screaming like a little girl. (Noel to be exact)

Tager, Lambda and Kokonoe were silence for a whole 30 seconds then Kokonoe stood up and gathered the dropped money, with Relius's and Ignis's payment it was as if they already had two sessions done. Kokonoe grinned as she counted the money again.

"Was that okay Kokonoe?" Tager looked at her with worry. Kokonoe flicked the cash. "Well I did give him advice, not my fault he got caught out." She justified herself.

Tager dropped a sweat. He was even more worried about the rest of the customers that they have to deal with. He knew that he would regret this.

x

**There goes Relius :P It was a bit short since he was the 'introduction patient' to the segment. Anyways, for the next patient it will be longer for sure! So feel free to suggest any couples, individuals or families or WHATEVER xD otherwise, the next patient will be...you'll see in the next chapter. See you soon!**


	2. Lovely

I'm pretty satisfied with this chapter. Hopefully you guys would enjoy it too. I didn't know we could add these line spaces thingys. I'm so slow xD

* * *

Lambda unpacks the new merchandise and props that Kokonoe had brought with the extra revenue from Ignis. Revealing inside the first box was a baseball cap with a love heart on it. Lambda stares at it, not knowing what it was.

Walking by, Tager sees Lambda in her unknown dilemma, confused he walks up to her. "What's the matter Lambda?"

"Lambda… cannot identify purpose of material." Lambda points at the baseball cap. Tager looks into the cardboard box, and it was the sample love baseball cap Kokonoe brought to see whether customers or patients want one, Tager thought Kokonoe was probably going to make one of them wear it.

"That's a baseball cap Lambda. You're supposed to wear it." Tager informs Lambda as he grabs the baseball cap and hands it over to Lambda. Still perplexed Lambda takes the cap and places it on her face, surprising it stays there. She looks up at Tager somehow.

"Purpose of material is…confusing…Lambda's vision is now impaired."

Tager was baffled for a second and chuckles as he takes it off her face. "No Lambda you're supposed to wear it like this, on your head." He places the cap on her head. Lambda then looks at the mirror by her side and inspects herself.

"Lambda…likes it." She gives a small smile as she adjusts the baseball cap.

Tager nodded, agreeing that it suits her.

Suddenly, the sound of thunder and rain was heard. Kokonoe looks up towards the ceiling, listening to the heavy raindrops pelting hard on the roof. She takes a whiff…then her eyes shot opened. Her feral fight or flight instincts were fully taking over. Something bad was coming.

"TAGER! LAMBDA! QUICK BLOCK THE DOOR! WHOA-!" She ordered and falls over because she leaned too forward on the armchair. Tager and Lambda quickly ran towards the door, well mostly Lambda since the creators of Blazblue didn't allow Tager to have a dash. Tager silently curses them as he shakes his fist to the sky.

Lambda just managed to reach the door to block it but unexpectedly, it burst opened sending her flying, joining her was Ragna and Hazama who seemed to be pulling each others cheeks. The two men crashed into all the new props and merchandises, still bickering and attacking each other.

"TAKE THIS ASSHOLE!" Ragna sends a FALCON PUNCH! directly at Hazama's face however, at the same time Hazama also threw a SHORYUKEN uppercut under Ragna's chin. "EAT SHIT PUPPY!"

Both of their stolen moves impacted however, none of the two men were sent away. They were staggering and enduring the pain as they remained standing with their fists still on each others faces and chin. Meanwhile, a huge shadow was towering the puppy and the snake. Ragna and Hazama noticed and glanced at the shadow. They were suddenly in another realm and dimension, standing on a platform that only had enough room for them to stand on their two feet.

"W-what's going on?!" Hazama panicked as he frantically looked around. A large black shadow rose above them, it resembled a familiar half cat girl we all know and oh boy it was pissed.

Ragna was sweating waterfalls as he pointed at it. "IT'S THE BEING OF DARKNESSSSS!" He cried.

"YOU SONS OF BITCHES BARGE INTO MY LOVE CLINIC, DESTROY MY STUFF AND HURT CUTE BASEBALL CAP LAMBDA?!" The being of darkness roared in fury. Thunder and lightning struck down where Hazama was, he screams like a little girl (Noel to be exact) as he dodges it and jumps into Ragna's arms who is now princess lifting him.

"W-WE'RE SORRY! PLEASE SPARE US!" Both of the men cried. The being of darkness ignores their pleas.

"NOW DIE!" Kokonoe slams her first down.

**"GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

* * *

Fifteen minutes later.

Tager walks out from the kitchen with a tray of tea and places it down on the table while Lambda was sweeping up the mess that was caused by Ragna and Hazama, mostly Kokonoe though.

"Thank-you Tager." Kokonoe sips her tea and sighs soothingly. Sometimes Tager can actually make pretty good tea, he always picks the right herbs and spices for her. Kokonoe then takes another quick sip and places the cup down. She gives a sharp glare at the two idiots in front of her who flinched in fear.

In front of her was a badly beaten up Ragna and Hazama. Kokonoe leans back on her arm chair and crosses her legs.

"Now. Why were you two fighting in front of my clinic HMM?"

Ragna immediately stood up. His face looked like a bruised plum. "It's his fault! I was actually coming here for some advice!" Ragna accused as he pointed at Hazama who gawked.

Hazama didn't stand, more like he couldn't at the moment since Kokonoe busted his legs pretty badly. "So was I! And there you go again Rags always blaming me for everything!" He rebutted.

"YOU ARE THE BLAME FOR EVERYTHING!" Ragna gritted his teeth as he looked down at Hazama.

Hazama raised his back. "Well that's true, _mostly_. BUT! You're the one who jumped at me first you piece of shit!"

Ragna was taken aback. "That's…true…! BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TAUNTED ME FIRST ASSHOLE!"

"WELL YOU DID LOOK LIKED YOU NEEDED A HAND OKAY." Hazama yelled back. (The joke here was that Ragna's arm was chopped off by technically Hazama before)

"AHHHHH YOU PISS ME OFF!" Ragna launched himself at Hazama to beat the shit out of him. The two again began to fight. Kokonoe felt like a nerve in her head was going to burst.

"STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I'LL SEND YOU BOTH TO THE DOOM DIMENSION. PERMANENTLY!"

With neutral faces both men stopped fighting and silently sat down. Kokonoe also sat back down, heavily puffing. This was bad for her blood pressure.

"OKAY LISTEN. As much as I would love to join you Ragna in beating the daylights out of Hazama you two said you had to see me for some love advice? You two can continue your stupid fights after you're done here. CAPEESH?" Kokonoe really really really times one hundred wanted to get back at Hazama but she had her priorities and he was still a customer even though he was the cause of why she was here in the first place. Kokonoe decided to be mature about this. But was it really a better decision to serve a SS criminal and the bane of her existence?

"…yes ma'm." Both men said in unison. Kokonoe then nodded and then looked at Ragna.

"We'll start with Ragna first. What's the problem?" She asked. Ragna looked up. "What? Hazama is going to stay here and listen?"

"Well I'm not going to leave him not attendant. I don't trust Hazama by himself in my clinic." Kokonoe reasoned. Hazama nodded in agreement and looked at Ragna. "She's right you know."

Ragna clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Fine." He then looked down nervously and blushed.

"…hel." Ragna mumbled. Kokonoe and Hazama leaned closer to Ragna to indicate that they didn't hear him the first time.

Ragna looked away. His face is now a tomato. "…Rachel. It's Rachel." His voice was still low but it was loud enough to hear. Hazama burst out laughing.

"HYAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA! RACHEL?! RACHEL?! RAAAAAAAAAAAACHEL? YOU HAD LIKE HALF OF THE BLAZBLUE FEMALE CAST TO CHOSE FROM AND YOU CHOSE THAT THOUSAND YEAR OLD LOLI VAMPIRE?! HYAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA... I approve." Hazama suddenly stopped laughing and nodded favourably.

"What?!" Ragna and Kokonoe spoke in unison. "You do?!"

Hazama shrugged. "Of course! Two dumbass, annoyingly persistent idiots are very compatible together!"

"Damn you bastard! But…thanks…I guess." Ragna scratched his face in embarrassment. Hazama placed his arm around Ragna's shoulder. "No problem! Don't bother send the wedding invitation though…I did kill her father after all."

Ragna flushed red like a capsicum. "W-we're not even up to that stage yet!"

"So where are you guys at the moment? Boyfriend-girlfriend? Friends? Obsessive stalker?" Kokonoe asked seriously.

Ragna gawked. "Er…well…I guess we're…friends at the moment…?" He began to rub his neck awkwardly. Kokonoe nodded as she sips her tea.

"Right. Well Ragna I believe you are quite lucky." Kokonoe sips her tea again. "I happen to know Rachel quite well and believe my words. If you confess to her I can promise you that she will say yes." Kokonoe knew that Rachel liked Ragna as well since she would always stalk Ragna wherever he goes and come to his aid whenever he asks. Though when Kokonoe asked Rachel she would always deny this. What was a surety of this was when Rachel became seriously jealous whenever any girl would be up Ragna's grill. That was the final dead give a way. Kokonoe hoped that Rachel's stubbornness and pride won't get in the way.

"Really? She'll say yes?!" Ragna almost jumped out of his seat. He was like an excited little puppy about to get a favourite treat. Hazama thought.

"Yep in fact let's go ahead, suit you up and get you some flowers to go and confess right now?" Kokonoe suggested.

"Now?!" Ragna blushed. Well he did need an extra push to stop being a little bitch. He was so afraid that Rachel would say no, mostly because of their stance. She was a graceful, rich but, with a small superiority complex well okay big, beautiful woman whereas, Ragna- he knew himself was poor, brutal and basically had a shitty life. They were basically in complete contrast. But after hearing Kokonoe's words it gave him courage and confidence, however…

He grabs Hazama's shoulder. "I wanna hear this guy's problem first."

Kokonoe looks at Hazama. "Well?"

Hazama looks at both Ragna and Kokonoe. He sighs loudly as he takes his fedora off his head. "Well…how should I start this…" Hazama trails off as he rubs his head. He then opens his golden snake eyes and looks at Kokonoe with a dead serious expression.

"Kokonoe. I'm in love with that cat girl Taokaka."

Kokonoe spits out her tea while Ragna spits out imaginary tea. "TAO?! How the hell did that happened?!" Ragna spoke in bewilderment and he thought his crush was strange.

Suddenly Hazama's legs were healed and he stood up. He was gracefully moving around the table as he explained his story. "Ahh~ when Kokonoe blasted me into the Kaka village I fell on top of her. Her hoddie fell off you see…It was like love at first sight but unfortunately, I had to leave because my allergies were kicking in."

"You saw her without the hoodie?! No way!" Ragna was amazed. Tao and he have been on so many adventures and journeys and not once he has seen Tao without her hoddie. It must have been so angelic or something if it can even can get that bastard to fall in love with someone. However, Ragna seemed to already know the problem…Tao was too freaking stupid to realise about love and Hazama was allergic. Kokonoe seemed to realise as well.

Kokonoe rose from her arm chair. "I have it all figured out! Tonight you and Ragna are going to confess! Lambda! Get the suits! But bring Hazama the hazard suit!" She grinned. Lambda saluted then went off to the storage room to get the things requested. Ragna and Hazama stood there dumbfounded. Kokonoe then turned to them.

"What are you two still standing there?! Go buy them a gift they would like idiots! A straight up confession is what a woman is looking for!" She ordered. Ragna and Hazama nodded frantically and left to buy a gift for their crushes.

* * *

Thirteen minutes later.

Kokonoe took a step back to get a better view. Ragna was wearing a simple black suit pants and vest with a white shirt and black pointy leather shoes. Cute baseball cap Lambda was adjusting his red tie. Tager and Ragna were sniggering at Hazama who was also wearing the same things as Ragna however, he was in a hazard suit and it made him look like an astronaut. 'For love' was what Hazama said to remind himself why he was doing this.

The teleportation device was set and ready for the co-ordinates that Kokonoe will be sending the two. She placed a microphone and video camera on the boys so she would be able to watch them.

"The two of you got your gifts?" Kokonoe asked as she crossed her arms. She felt like a mother readily her sons for a date.

Both of the men nodded as they presented their gift. Ragna had bell pepper flowers for Rachel whereas, Hazama has a bouquet of fishes. For some reason something made Kokonoe fell odd about those bell pepper flowers that Ragna has but she couldn't pin point it out. She then shrugged it off. If it was anything then she would tell Ragna afterwards.

"Good luck Ragna! F*** you Hazama!" Kokonoe waved them off as she pressed the teleportation button.

* * *

The moon shined brightly in the eternal night over the Alucard mansion. In the backyard of the unholy mansion was a simple yet large rose garden. In the small section in the plains of roses sat the owner of the mansion, Rachel Alucard. Despite the pleasant weather and her absolute favourite desserts and tea, she was in a bad mood. Her servants Nago and Gii were too afraid to talk to her again because when Gii before mentioned the name 'Ragna'. She had sent Gii flying into oblivion but luckily he somehow made it back.

Rachel angrily drinks her tea. She couldn't find where Ragna's whereabouts for the last hour. This was impossible. Rachel even went as far to ask people around. It was humiliating! A disgrace to her pride and honour! Ragna was so going to get a lightning strike or ten when she finds him. After a few moments of furious tea sipping, she slowly places her tea cup back down. Her face was filled with concerned and worry.

From the backdoor entrance stood Valkenhayn, he clenches his fist tightly. How dare he made the milady upset! If he ever sees Ragna he was going to give him a punch or twenty in the face.

A loud thump was heard nearby. Rachel looks up from her table. An intruder? That was highly unlikely since the only way to come to this place was through teleportation. She grabs Nago who turns into an umbrella and teleports to where the sound came from.

"Ouch…man she didn't have to teleport me so high up from the ground. I could off broken something!" Ragna complained to himself. He then felt something mushy on his ass. "Oh crap! The bell peppers!" He panicked as he stood up from the ground. They were ruined.

"Ragna? What are you doing here?" Rachel looked astounded at the sight. He was wearing a…suit?

Ragna immediately stood up straight. "RABBIT!" he yelled. Rachel was already in front of him and he didn't even have time to prepare himself! Such luck! Ragna had no choice but to improvise. "Err…" Ragna began, he was nervously rubbing his neck and avoided eye contact with Rachel.

Rachel had no idea what Ragna was up to but he was looking like a big fool at the moment. "Ragna. What is it?" However, despite the harsh tone Rachel made she felt really nervous for some reason due to seeing Ragna stutter and blushing a little. Her heart was beating a little faster.

Kokonoe slammed her table. "DAMMIT RAGNA STOP BEING A PANSY!" She wanted to tell Ragna that but he needed to do this on his own. Lambda was waving a 'FIGHTO!' flag.

_"Come on Ragna dammit, this is your chance! You're a freaking badass SS criminal with a bounty of 99 billion platinum dollars!" _ Ragna internally thought. He then shook his head and took a step forward closer to Rachel.

"Rachel…I er… kinda love you…so take these flowers." Ragna presented the bell peppers to Rachel.

Kokonoe wanted to rip her face off. "KINDA?! KINDA LOVE YOU?! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!" Lambda and Tager had to hold Kokonoe back from turning into the being of darkness again and destroy the planet.

Rachel looked completely stunned at the random somewhat confession. She looked at Ragna's flustered face and the bell pepper flowers. She then sniggered and then…burst out laughing! Ragna was at a loss of words at the sudden reaction, he had never saw Rachel laugh so loudly before. "H-hey that's not funny!" He whined. After a few more seconds Rachel ended her laughing fit.

"Ahaha…I apologize Ragna." Rachel wiped a tear off her face. She hasn't laughed like that since…ever! It felt good. Rachel began giggling again. "It's just that…this was so hilarious. You have leaves on your suit, bad manners and you made a complete fool out of yourself. And I don't even like bell peppers they are the worst gift that anyone could ever give to me."

Ragna looked at the bell peppers. "Oh…" He thought that they were the most beautiful flowers he's ever seen…that it reminded him of Rachel's beauty.

Rachel smiled. "But I will gladly accept the flowers because I _'kinda'_ love you too." She takes the flowers off Ragna who blushed.

"Shut up I was nervous." Ragna frowned but then the both of them began to laugh.

* * *

"YES! She accepted! Pay time!" Kokonoe jumped up and down from her arm chair. Lambda was swinging her flag around in slight joy. "Lambda…feels immense joy." She smiles.

Tager also smiles in the background, relived that everything worked out for Ragna. Suddenly there was a quiet knock on the door. Tager walked over to open it. It was…Taokaka? And she was carrying Hazama by her side?! He wasn't wearing his hazard suit anymore too!

"Taokaka?" Tager spoke in surprise. Kokonoe and Lambda also turned around from the T.V.

"HELLO ROBOT GUY! MEOW!" Tao waved at Tager as she walked into the love clinic. She then grabbed a sum of cash from her chest and handed it to Kokonoe. Kokonoe gave Taokaka a confused look.

"Green guy told me to give it to you!" Everyone then looked at the state Hazama was in. His fedora hat was missing and he looked like he was molested or something since his clothing was slightly ripped apart. Did I mention the saliva and bite marks all over him? His eyes were also swirly. Kokonoe guessed his allergies got to him as well.

"Anyways Tao has to go now meow! Tao and green guy are going to have some more sleepy time!" Everyone gave Tao a shocked look as she grinned and ran away with Hazama on her back. They had hoped that they misinterpreted this…'sleepy time'.

Everyone in the room was silent for a few moments. It was Tager again that broke the silence. "Was that okay Kokonoe…? To leave it like that?" Kokonoe counted the money that Taokaka gave her. It was the exact sum for two patients. She then flicked the money in front of Tager. "Meh, I helped them out, what happens after doesn't concern me anymore."

Tager sighed. He had hoped that their next patients were normal.

* * *

**Whatever happened to Hazama is up to your imagination :P Let's just say that Tao really liked the fish bouquet. On the other note. I'll most likely be doing two 'love problems' per a chapter. So if you made a request please be patient because for sure i'll write it eventually. I'm pretty frequent with my uploading so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. See you next chapter**!


	3. Lovingly

Wooow I didn't expect this chapter to go over 4k words! I guess I got way too into it haha. Enjoy!

* * *

Kokonoe stares at the clock in front of her ticking away. She listens to the sweeping sounds as Lambda cleans up the black slime near the entrance of the front door and the typing sound Tager is making from a computer. For the past day she only had one client. More like a pest. Kokonoe clicks her tongue, getting annoyed again thinking about. That damn Arakune wasting like 2 hours of her time and in the end he only did it to score a free meal! That cheap bastard! How dare he take advantage of her kindness! She genuinely felt guilty for not being able to solve his 'problem'. She can't believe that he made up a story how he was hoping that she would be able to cure his terminal illness long enough that he would purpose to Litchi on her birthday which was months away. The look on Kokonoe's face when she caught Arakune red handed.

*FLASHBACK*

"Again I apologize for not being able to cure your disease Roy….I really am." Kokonoe gave a sorrowful expression as she places her mobile phone down on the restaurant table so she could place her hand on his back.

Arakune looked back at Kokonoe. You can't really tell what expression he was pulling since he always has that white mask on. "Ok." Was what Arakune managed to clearly say well that was what Kokonoe thought. She nodded. "If there is anything you need just come by to the clinic again and I'll see what I can do okay?" Arakune gave her a peace sign. Kokonoe said goodbye to Arakune and walked out of the restaurant. She felt really bad that she couldn't do anything about his disease. It made her ponder on how could she be a scientist if she's never heard of such a disease? Well she was no doctor but still…she felt it was disgraceful. In frustration, Kokonoe kicks a nearby trashcan then continues to walk on as she put her hands in her pockets. Kokonoe blinked.

"Oh crap. I forgot my phone." Kokonoe sighs as she turns around back to the five star restaurant. She didn't really want to go back to be reminded her failure. Suddenly, before Kokonoe opens the door she heard loud cheery voices and one particular voice that she was VERY familiar with.

"KI…KIYEKEKEKEKEKE! THAT…DUMASS PROFESSOR…ACTUALLY BELIEVED MY STORY…KIYEKEKEKE! FREE…MEALS…FOR EVERYONE!" Arakune made an 'xD' face somehow with his mask. He held a cold beer up in the air to propose a toast to everyone in the restaurant who have no idea what he was talking about but went along with it anyways.

**"You...tricked me?" **

The whole restaurant was suddenly silenced and turned to where Kokonoe was. Arakune dropped his beer glass. "…Oh sh-it". Kokonoe's face darkens as she strolled slowly towards Arakune while pulling something out of her kaka lab coat sleeve. Arakune frantically tried to run away but for some reason he was being pulled closer to her, Kokonoe had activated one of her gravitation devices. She then pulls out a wooden baseball bat, it had nails hammered in everywhere. What scared the daylights out of Arakune more was that there was already blood on the spiked baseball bat, meaning she has beaten someone up with it before and haven't cleaned out the blood yet.

"C-come..on K-k-kokonoe..! It was a j-joke! Funny ri-right?" Arakune fell over as he stuttered even more with his already impaired speech. Kokonoe was now right in front of him and gave him a sickening wide crescent moon grin.

**"Oh yes. You know what would be more funny?" **Kokonoe raised her spiked bat in the air. Arakune shook his head desperately. He was f***ed.

**"WHEN I BEAT THE MITOSIS OUT OF YOUR SINGLE-CELLED BODY TO PIECES! NOW DIE ASSHOLE!" **

**"KIIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" **

The sound of Arakune's screams could be heard from the other side of the world.

*FLASHBACK END*

That was how there was black slime at the entrance. Kokonoe returned home with bloody black slime on her spiked baseball bat. Tager instantly knew that Arakune probably pissed Kokonoe off to the max since she used the spiked bat, she only uses it when it's personal.

"GAHH! I'm stilled pissed off and BORED! WHERE ARE MY CILENTS?!" Kokonoe shouts as she stretches her face wide. This was the worst mood to be in.

"Out here Professor!" An outside voice called out from the door. Everyone instantly recognises the squirrel girly voice.

Cute baseball cap Lambda opens the door. Not only Makoto was grinning widely at the door but also Hakumen was standing behind her.

"Heya Lambda! Long-time no see! And cute hat!" Makoto gave Lambda a big hug. Lambda only responded back by giving her a small smile and a nod.

"…Lambda likes cheaply made material non-authentic baseball cap." Lambda commented.

Kokonoe approached the two and grinned at Hakumen. "Ohohoho Hakumen's here? I'm sorry but this isn't a regular clinic, this is a _love~_ clinic." She mocked and purposely rolled out her tongue as she says the word love. Her previous mood instantly vanished. Hakumen leered at her.

"Silence Grimalkin." Hakumen replied with venom laced in his voice and brushes past Makoto as he enters the love clinic. With a dumbfounded expression after hearing the conversation Makoto looks at Kokonoe for answers but sees her sniggering. "Don't worry about it." She chuckles as she invited Makoto in.

Hakumen sees the condition of the guest area. Empty cans, potato chips and hundreds of used lollipops were everywhere sighted, even on the chairs. He then watches Lambda beginning to clean up the mess. Hakumen snorted. "Hmph. So since there are no current disturbances in the world you shamelessly resort the murakumo unit into your cleaning servant?" He looks at Kokonoe as she walks into the guest area and sits down on her favourite arm chair. She shrugs.

"Lambda doesn't mind, right Lambda?" Kokonoe looks over to Lambda as she sweeps up the fallen potato chips from the ground.

"Lambda…does mind." Lambda stops sweeping.

"I guess I should take that baseball cap off you then?" Kokonoe nonchalantly spoke as she inspects her nails. They needed a trim.

Lambda jolted and protectively holds onto her hat. She turns to Hakumen. "Lambda does not mind. Lambda enjoys being Kokonoe's eternal unpaid servant." She continues sweeping. Kokonoe crossed her arms and nodded approvingly. She grins at Hakumen. "See? She doesn't mind."

Hakumen doesn't say a word. Tager sighs at the sight. The professor can be so selfish sometimes.

"Anyways you two what's the love problem we have here?" Kokonoe asks as she offers a seat. Hakumen hated how the Grimalkin calls it a love problem even though it was a love problem. He wanted to leave.

"Thanks professor." Makoto sat down on a freshly clean chair that Lambda had recently cleaned.

"I will stand." Hakumen crosses his arms. Makoto raises an eyebrow.

"Is he always like this?" She asks Kokonoe as she points at Hakumen.

"Nah when he's alone he's actually a big softie. One time I saw him at the Kaka village cuddling and playing with all the Kaka kittens." Kokonoe replied.

Hakumen rolled all of his demotic eyes. "You would be a fool to believe in such fabrications."

"How about that one time where I caught you-GAH!" Hakumen interrupted Kokonoe before she could finish talking by pointing his sword right up to Kokonoe's neck.

"For the seventh time I happened to be there by mistake and can we start the session already?" Hakumen was beginning to lose his patience. He knew that he would regret coming here but he really did need help. This was a big step for Hakumen, asking for assistance. Kokonoe saw that Hakumen was getting annoyed so she agreed. It would be a hassle if Hakumen got pissed, besides she was curious anyways.

"Alright alright. Let's begin. I know Hakumen wouldn't want to talk first so let's start with you Makoto. Do you mind if he listens though?" Kokonoe ask as she pulls out a lollipop wrapper.

Makoto waves her hands rapidly. "Oh no I don't mind at all! Besides, I've always wanted to meet Hakumen of the six heroes since Tsubaki is a big mega fan of him." Makoto laughs nervously. She could off sworn she saw Hakumen flinched.

"A-anyways I'm having my first date with Carl at a fancy restaurant-" Makoto paused. She then suddenly slams the table. "The problem is I don't know how to eat or act at a fancy restaurant! Please help me professor!" Makoto begs as she looks down and claps her hands together. She really wanted her first date with Carl to be great and didn't want to embarrass him in any way.

"…." Hakumen shifted uncomfortably and Kokonoe notices. "What's wrong Hakumen? You look a bit restless there.

There was no going back now. He might as well say it. Hakumen lets out a heavy sigh. "I too have the same predicament as the beastkin girl here." Hakumen confessed. He felt his badassary level dropped five levels. He'd had to punch Terumi in the face or something to regain it back. Hakumen then notices Kokonoe's wide grin, she was trying to hide it.

That damn Grimalkin is enjoying this and this angers Hakumen. But, he had no choice but to endure this. He too did not want to humiliate his date. She deserved to have a great night with a fine gentlemen and god dammit he will become that said fine gentlemen! Hakumen silently clenches his fist in determination.

"So who's your date Hakumen sir?" Makoto eagerly asked. She knew Hakumen clearly didn't want to be here but it seems like he's doing it for his date. She must be one lucky girl!

"Major Tsubaki Yayoi." Hakumen bluntly answered. Makoto eyes widen. "NO WAY! TSUBAKI?!"

"Way." Kokonoe jumped in the conversation, still giving the shit eating grin. If Hakumen still had human nerves it would off burst by now.

Kokonoe then cleared her throat. "Anyways we're getting off topic here. Well not really but back to the issues. Since you guys have the same _love~_ problems then it'll be easier to train you guys at the same time to prepare for your dates. So when was it again?"

"Tonight." Both Makoto and Hakumen answered in unison. It was Kokonoe's turn to widen her eyes. She quickly turns around and snaps her fingers at Tager. "TAGER! COFFEE! NOW!" She yells. Tager gives Kokonoe a quick puzzled look before he hastily went to prepare coffee. He knew she didn't even drink that stuff.

Kokonoe silently waited as Tager prepared her coffee while Hakumen and Makoto confusingly watched her.

A few minutes later Tager came stomping back with a tray of coffee. Kokonoe looks up to the tray and takes the coffee and drinks its contents. All of a sudden, she spits it out.

"TONIGHT?!" She yells in 'surprise'.

"WAS THAT EVEN NECESSARY?!" Makoto yells back. Everyone else in the room was speechless.

Ignoring Makoto, Kokonoe continues talking. "Teaching classy table manners and such takes at least a few days. I'm going to have to talk you two through it during the night."

"How? With a microphone or something?" Makoto arched an eyebrow. Kokonoe nodded. "Correct. I will give you these listening devices that I borrowed from the Sector Seven lab. There's a red button on it that will allow me to talk to you guys but turn it on when you've arrived to your dinner dates. You guys can leave now to get ready after Lambda gets them. Sounds good?"

"Hell yeah it does! Thank you so much professor! I knew I could count on you!" Makoto excitedly held her hands together with sparkly eyes.

"Fine." Hakumen agreed. Something was poking Hakumen's back so he turns around. It was cute baseball hat Lambda.

"Advance hearing devices that Professor Kokonoe stole from the Sector Seven laboratory three weeks ago." Lambda hands out the device to Hakumen and Makoto. Hakumen then shot Kokonoe a glare. Kokonoe immediately avoided contact and started whistling innocently, he sighed again.

The two then took the listening devices and left.

Kokonoe turned around from her arm chair towards Tager again, she suddenly felt hungry. "Hey Tager order some Chinese food from that half a star restaurant in Oriental town."

"Roger that."

* * *

People were crowding around at the famous new Kagutsuchi restaurant. It was indeed famous as there was a large waiting line that went up five blocks, people were eagerly waiting to try out the new dish that came out today.

Carl arrived at the restaurant venue ten minutes prior to the meeting time since he was punctual like that. But more, importantly he was excited, it was his and Makoto's first date together. They weren't really in an established relationship yet but just seeing each other, it didn't bother him at all though since he still has a fun time every time he's with Makoto. He happily looked at the two golden tickets that he had brought for himself and Makoto. They were the VIP entry tickets to eat there.

"Carl! Hey Carl!"

Carl looks towards where the sound came from. It was Makoto. She was wearing a black strapless knee length dress with semi- transparent silver open toe heels. It was simple but it suited her very much. She looked beautiful. "Wow Miss Makoto you look really pretty!" Carl complemented.

Makoto did a short twirl and posed. "Teehee! I picked it myself!" She winked. Carl gave a small chuckle and bowed as he presented his hand to Makoto. "May I have the honour to escort you madam?"

"Of course you may!" Makoto giggled at the polite display it was so cute! She placed her hand on Carl's then the both of them began to enter the restaurant.

* * *

There were so much people crowding around the restaurant. Luckily, people were moving out of the way for Hakumen probably due to his large and intimidating build. However, it was also a disturbance as he was getting stares and whispers, causing attention on himself.

"It's one of the six heroes! What's he doing over here?" said one person.

"Wow I wonder if he's here for a date?" said another person.

Hakumen had already turned on the hearing device for Kokonoe to give instructions. She had called Hakumen a dumbass since all he had to do at the moment was find Tsubaki and walk into the restaurant which he should already know already.

"Oh Mr Hakumen! Over here!"

Hakumen turns around to the familiar voice. He sees Tsubaki waving at him near the entrance of the restaurant. She was wearing a pure pale white kimono with a cherry blossom design over it and a crimson red strap which matched perfectly with her bright red hair that was tied up in a neat bun. Hakumen was speechless. He could have mistaken her as an angel. He never knew she could look so perfect to him. His cold soul felt warm, a feeling that he hadn't felt in a long time.

He walks up to Tsubaki.

"Good evening Mr Hakumen." Tsubaki smiles.

Hakumen nodded. "…You look beautiful." Hakumen says sincerely in a gentle voice.

Tsubaki instantly blushes and places a hand on her cheek. "O-oh thank-you." She looks down in embarrassment.

From downtown in the love clinic Kokonoe watches as the two be all cute. "How come he never says that to me?" She joked. Half joked.

"I think you know why Kokonoe. Here's your Chinese food by the way." Tager hands over the plastic packaging to Kokonoe. "Thanks." She thanked. "I can be cute too you know. If I wanted to." She blurted out to Tager who simply nodded, not going to bother.

Kokonoe then spins her desk chair back to the computer and puts on the headsets. The computer was split into two screens, one for Makoto and one for Hakumen. She found it amusing how they were in the same restaurant just in different levels of the building. Both of the couples were sitting down at their designated dining tables. She noticed that Hakumen and Makoto were not placing their napkins on their laps or neck. Carl and Tsubaki were in the middle of doing that. Kokonoe clicks on the green button to speak to them both at the same time.

_"Idiots! You're supposed to place the napkins on your laps. Do it now_!" Kokonoe almost yelled into the microphone. She's not that inconsiderate she has self-control! Sometimes.

Hakumen played it smooth and placed the napkin on his lap while Makoto was still sitting there.

_"I said place the napkin on your lap!"_ Kokonoe repeated.

"I DID!" Hakumen yelled back at Kokonoe. Everyone in the restaurant suddenly stopped eating and looked at Hakumen.

"Did what Mr Hakumen?" Tsubaki was surprised at the sudden yelling. Hakumen realised what he had just done.

_"I meant Makoto you moron! Quick! Say something about not seeing that flower clip on her head and say it looks nice!" _Kokonoe spoke into the microphone frantically as she leaned closer to the screen.

Hakumen gave a fake cough before speaking. "I did…not see the flower clip on your head. It looks nice." He sounded like a robot. Tsubaki giggled at the way Hakumen talked. Who knew he could be funny? "Why thank-you Hakumen sir." She slightly blushed red while smiling.

"Phew…" Kokonoe wiped a sweat off her face. "Why the hell isn't Makoto responding? Did she forget to turn on the device? That dumb squirrel!"

Meanwhile Makoto felt extremely awkward and lost. Luckily, Carl was talking to the waiter to order but she was next. Why wasn't Kokonoe helping her out? Makoto gasped. "Crap I forgot to turn on the device!" She whispered to herself. She couldn't turn it on when Carl was around so she had to do it secretly. "Umm Carl I need to go to the bathroom to er…freshen up! Yeah that's it. Freshen up!" Makoto stood up from her chair.

"Already?" Carl titled his head. "Sure. No problem! I'll wait here. Do you want to order your food before you go though?" He asked. Makoto was already walking away. "I'll just have what you're having okay!" She gives Carl a quick peace sign as she left to find the bathroom. Carl smiles as he turns back to the waiter.

"She'll also be having the new dish!"

"So that would be two simmered crayfish with specialty salt and pepper spices?" The waiter repeated the order.

"Yep." Carl replied.

"Very good sir. This new dish is being made by our new replacement chef please look forward to it." The waiter bowed as he left to take on more orders.

"Replacement chef? Probably wouldn't be much of a difference I guess." Carl spoke to himself.

Hakumen and Tsubaki didn't order the new dishes and ordered something else that Tsubaki recommended. They were silently waiting for the order.

_"Start a conversation. Say something!" _Kokonoe ordered.

"Something." Hakumen repeated. He wondered why Kokonoe would make him say such a thing. Was this how people interact these days? He felt really out of date.

"Pardon?" Tsubaki didn't quite hear what Hakumen said. More like not understood.

_"NO DAMMIT! I MEANT SAY 'SOMETHING' AS IN ASK HER ABOUT 'SOMETHING' LIKE HOW HER BLOODY DAY WAS!"_ Kokonoe breathed rapidly after her screaming. She better check herself up with the doctors after this. She probably burst a vein or ten.

_"Whoa Kokonoe no need for the screaming! I can hear you fine. These cute fluffy ears are sensitive you know."_ Makoto wailed as she winced at the pain.

_"Oh about time you turned it on. Now get your ass back to the table! It's bad to keep your partner waiting." _Kokonoe yelled again but not as rage-y or loud.

_"Teehee! Sorry about that…and I will! Gotta go pee first though." _Makoto turns off the device completely. She didn't like the idea of Kokonoe watching her or hearing her pee which Kokonoe would completely understand.

Kokonoe sighs tiredly. It seems that Tsubaki was taking control of the conversation now she appeared to be laughing and smiling, probably due to Hakumen's unintentional antics which were probably a good thing. Probably. For the moment, Kokonoe was able to relax and eat her Chinese food. She forgets to turn of the microphone as she opens the packaging and takes a whiff.

_"Damn you smell."_ Kokonoe waves her hand to ward off the smell. However, Hakumen thought it was something that he had to say since she wasn't yelling or screaming at him.

"You smell." Hakumen spoke all of the sudden. This caught Tsubaki off by surprise.

"I-I do?" She blushes in embarrassment. "Forgive me…I didn't think I sprayed that much perfume…" Tsubaki consciously smells herself, looking worried. Hakumen panicked. He didn't mean to hurt her feelings and Kokonoe wasn't saying anything else?! He had no choice but to improvise. He quickly looks around the room and spotted a flower plant behind Tsubaki near the wall.

"No I meant…you smell like the flower… camellia." Hakumen reads the sign on the flower pot plant. Tsubaki blinked and began to laugh out loud. "Hahaha! That's really interesting Mr Hakumen because my name happens to mean camellia in English. I wonder if you knew that? Though I do wonder if you knew that camellia flowers have no fragrance hehe." Tsubaki continued laughing and accidentally snorts.

Hakumen blinked twice. Got caught out. He began to slowly join in the laughter, "Actually I didn't know either." He chuckles. The two of them were laughing together.

* * *

Carl sat quietly waiting for Makoto to return. He remembers that his sister Ada would always tell him that a lady takes her time in the bathroom when on a date because she wants to look her best for her man. She said it was a weird girl thing. Carl snickers at the memory.

"Oh Carl! I didn't know you were eating here!" A familiar voice spoke to him. Carl turns to where the voice came from.

"Wahh! Noel?!" Carl spoke in surprise. He sees Noel in the same uniform as the workers here. "I didn't know you were a waitress here."

Noel giggled excitedly. "Actually I'm the replacement chef here! I wanted to specially deliver the first dish. I feel so lucky that my friends are the first ones to be able to taste my cooking." Noel smiled brightly as she placed the dishes down.

Carl froze. "Y-y-you cooked it?" he stuttered.

"Mhm! Two simmered crayfish with specialty salt and pepper spices! Anyways I have to go and prepare more dishes. Say hello to Makoto for me!" Noel takes the lid off the dishes and left.

Carl stared blankly at the dish in front of him. "Ahh…it's censored…how is that even possible…" he nervously laughed. He dared to take a whiff of it. It was surprisingly scentless but he won't be fooled. This was bad. This would totally ruin their night if they ate it! But it would also ruin their night if they had to leave! He didn't want to make a scene. It was a dilemma. Carl had to think this through.

"Hey Carl sorry! I took a while. You know…girl things." Makoto joked. "Oh the food's here!" She sat down slightly drooling. Makoto didn't take notice of the food being censored since she was starving. She immediately scoops up a bite and was ready to eat it.

Carl's eyes widen at the motion. He then quickly jumps forward towards Makoto. "NOO MAKOTO!" he yells.

Makoto stopped mid-way from eating the food however Carl was still flying towards her. He accidentally eats the food and falls onto the ground beside Makoto.

"Carl?!" Makoto turns around to where Carl was.

Suddenly a mini explosion erupted from the area.

The sound alerts Kokonoe and almost caused her to choke on her noddles. "W-what's going on?" She gets up from her relaxed position and looks at the screen. There was smoke covering Makoto's screen while on Hakumen's screen everyone in the room downstairs was looking confused at the sudden loud sound.

"What the hell?" Kokonoe looks at the screen confusingly.

* * *

Two hours later at Litchi's clinic.

"It seems that Carl had extreme food poisoning. For some reason there were large traces of explosive substances in the food." Litchi looks through the medical report. "He should be fine though since he only consumed a small amount. He's lucky."

Makoto nodded. She was sitting next to Carl who had swirly eyes at the moment. "Thanks Litchi." Makoto smiled at the doctor. "No problem. If there's anything you need please come see me. I'll be with the other patients." Litchi then left the room.

Carl then woke up. "Huh…I'm alive..." He trailed. Makoto snickered. "So you knew that was Noel's cooking and saved me from eating it by eating it yourself?"

"I didn't want to ruin the night." Carl gave a slight chuckle.

"Aww Carl! You're just too sweet!" Makoto dived into the bed and hugged Carl tightly.

"Wahh!"

* * *

Both of the microphones were completely turned off. Kokonoe wondered where the two couples went. She had to care since they haven't paid her yet. "Those bastards better not scam me." Kokonoe mumbles to her as she opened a potato chip packet.

"Professor…'those bastards' are approaching the door." Lambda informs as she peaks through the window. Kokonoe jumps from her armchair and rides her kitty scooter to the door and immediately opens it.

Makoto's fist was raised. She was just about to knock on the door. "Expecting us Professor?" She grinned. Carl was also here and Hakumen was beside Makoto.

Kokonoe looks around the others. "Where's Tsubaki?"

"Mr Hakumen walked her home like a gentlemen." Makoto grins again.

"Hmph." Hakumen steps forward and hands over Kokonoe the money. "This is most likely the one time I will thank you Grimalkin." He nods his head at Kokonoe and left.

"We're actually in a hurry as well." Makoto hands over the money owed to Kokonoe. "Thank-you so much for everything Professor. Even though you didn't do much." Makoto laughed. They then began to walk away.

"What did you pay her for Miss Makoto?" Carl questioned.

Makoto smiled. "Just some love advice."

Kokonoe closed the door.

"This actually turned out fine." Tager commented as he watches Kokonoe walk past him.

She shrugs. "Eh I guess so."

Suddenly, the telephone rang. Everyone in the room looked at it. It was weird since nobody really rings the clinic. Kokonoe then walks overs and picks up the phone.

"Hello?" She greets.

"HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY BROTHER AWAY FROM ME? I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU!" the furious voice shouts over the phone.

"God dammit." Tager face palms. He spoke too soon.

* * *

**I wonder who's the guy on the phone? :P Not obvious at all.** **On the other note, I hope I satisfy you guys with this chapter since there were a lot of requests...requested, don't get me wrong though I need those requests so they help me think of ideas xD KEEP AT IT! I also appreciated the reviews! They mean a lot! I'm glad that people are liking the stories so far :) Though I kinda feel like my writing is mediocre at times (or a lot) like I'm adding too much dialogue or I'm not that descriptive but, regardless of those worries I still very much enjoy writing. See you next chapter! **


	4. LAMBDA-CHAN'S POWER HOUR!

** Sorry guys something came up so I was pretty occupied for weeks but atlas another chapter has came. This chapter is a Lambda-special :P so it'll be a little different from the usual but fear not there are still some sort of couples in here :P Enjoy!**

* * *

It was 10:59pm in the city of Kagutsuchi. At this time most people would be returning from work or hanging out in Orient Town for festival-like stalls to have cheap yet delicious home-made dinners, especially meat buns.

However, for our dear cute baseball cap Lambda work was timeless and endless, her workplace was her home so basically there was no going anywhere. She has a dull, boring life as Kokonoe's eternal cleaning maid.

"Tager and I will be heading over to pick up our new employee. When I get back I expect everything to be spotless like it was before." Kokonoe orders as she walks through the door. Tager closes the door behind him. "But Kokonoe before was never clean either." The door shuts and Lambda is left alone sweeping up the leftover lollipops and potato chips from Tager, just kidding, of course Kokonoe.

"…" Lambda silently scoops up some potato chips with the duster pan. Then suddenly the phone was ringing. She leaves it ringing since the professor told her not to pick up any calls unless she was present. Kokonoe's auto message began to play.

_"***** *** ***** ******* ** ****** *** *** ********* ** **** ****** ****** ******* *********** HAZAMA! *coughs* Welcome to Kokonoe's love clinic so sorry that we are not present to answer your calls, we will get back to you as soon as possible. Buy our shirts!" …_BEEP!

Lambda turns around and resumed back to her cleaning. She glances up to the clock and watches how the minute hand strikes at 11pm.

**'DA DA-DUM! IT'S ELEVEN PM! WHICH IS TIME FOR...**

Suddenly cheesy transformation music began to play from an unknown entity.

A colourful backdrop drops behind Lambda who was emitting sparkly glowing golden light. She spins around and did some cool hip break dancing moves as the golden light covered her whole body.

**LAMBDA CHAN'S...**

A large sword that drops from god knows where behind Lambda covers her completely.

**…POWER HOUR!**

Lambda strikes a fighting pose with a V sign to no one in particular. With her best friend and side kick Tartar who landed on top of her head who also somehow strikes a V sign.

Yes! This was her true identity as the super-secret hero employee that even Kokonoe didn't know she had, the supreme asset to her love clinic's growth. LAMBDA-CHAN was…Kokonoe's love clinics'…

CUPID!

Indeed. She was no longer Lambda… she was Lambda-CHAN! For only an hour everyday starting from 11pm she has been bestowed with eight absolute love arrows (basically the deadly killer swords that she carries around during battle…) that has the power to bring true love with anyone that was hit by it with the first person they see! What a power! So it's up to Lambda-chan and her beloved sidekick Tartar to bring love justice to the lonely souls of Kagutsuchi beginning with… her sister Nu.

Lambda-chan puts on her visor to make sure she hides her secret identity and flies off out the roof (which made a hole) to find Nu.

Few seconds later. The first damsel in distress is fragile and helplessly crying which was what Lambda-chan saw. However, Tartar the more realistic one out of the pair sees Nu chasing the fiddlesticks out of Ragna who was the actual damsel in distress here.

"RAGNA WHY DON'T YOU BECOME ONE WITH NU?!" Nu whines as she uses her distortion drive as an attempt to pin Ragna down with her, hundreds…even thousands of calamity swords. Ragna would probably be dead if she succeeded to 'pin' him down.

"GAHHH! GO AWAY NU!" Ragna cries like a girl (Noel to be exact) as he ran away as fast as he could. He was going to be late for his date with Rachel tonight at this rate!

A glint flashed in Ragna's eyes as he saw a sewage hole as a perfect escape plan, at the moment he didn't care where he was going as long as he gets away from that crazy bitch Nu and so he dives right into it.

Nu gasps as she suddenly lost where Ragna went. "RAGNA? Where did you go? Oh I see you're playing hard to get! Hehe!" As Nu began to continue to find Ragna Lambda halted her to stop.

"Huh? What is Lambda doing here?" Nu asks in surprise.

"Lambda-chan…will help you get Ragna…with Lambda chan's absolute love arrows…" Lambda-chan presents her eight swords to Nu who gave a large smile.

"OOO! Okay okay! Nu likes that! Let's go find Ragna right now okay?" Nu shouts excitedly as she claps her hands. The both of them were about to set off until a wall of ice blocked their path.

"!" Lambda-chan and Nu quickly jumps back to dodge the sudden ice wall obstacle.

"Hold on…trashes, did you just say absolute love arrows?" A man with blonde hair in NOL uniform jumped down from the ice wall. It was Jin Kisaragi.

"…Correct. Full name: Super- Supreme- 100% -Absolute-Love-Arrows-Kawaii-Suplex…" Lambda-chan elaborates. Tartar nods in agreement while resting on top of her head.

"I must have those arrows so brother can finally be mine. To fight. Forever. Eternally. And die." Jin states with a neutral face to Lambda-chan. Everyone arched an eyebrow. That didn't even make sense…was what everyone was thinking.

"No way! Ragna must become one with Nu!" Nu stomps her feet on the ground as she pouts.

Tartar shakes his head.

"…Lambda chan's absolute love arrows only can be used by…Lambda-chan." She informs.

"Then you will come with me." Jin grabs Lambda's arm as he begins to drag her away. Tartar jumps out of Lambda chan's head and bites Jin's nose.

"OWW! MY NOSE-WHAT IN THE WORLD?! GET THIS THING OFF ME!" Jin cries in pain as he tries to pull Tartar out of his nose. He lets go of Lambda-chan which causes Tartar to jump back on Lambda-chan's head.

Jin rubs his nose painfully as he glares at Tartar who shook his ass at him. "That little piece off-"

Nu abruptly interrupts him. "Lambda isn't going anywhere with you pretty boy! So back off." Nu pokes her tongue at Jin.

Tartar pulls Lambda-chan's single piece of hair, signally her of the time being wasted. Lambda checks her imaginary watch. It was 11:25pm. She looks up to see the both of them bickering about.

"TIGHT BOY PANTS!"

"CAMEL TOE!"

"CRY BABY!"

"CRAZY BITCH!"

Nu and Jin slammed their heads hard on each others foreheads staring menacing at each other. They bumped heads so hard that blood began to drip from their foreheads.

**"GRRR…."**

Lambda-chan pulls them apart. "…Lambda-chan's power expires in T-minus 35 minutes. Must decide now."

"Hmph. Fine, how about this? I happened to know where my brother is so make a choice, either follow me and then we can see who appears in front of Ragna first or you can let the arrows go to waste, you'll never find Ragna in time." Jin offers as he crosses his arms.

Nu immediately agrees. "Fine. Let's go." She was fully confident that she would win since she was the only one who can be with Ragna.

"Then it is settled. Follow me." Jin turns around and rides on his ice car.

Ragna and Rachel finally arrived at their favourite Oriental Town restaurant. Well Rachel refuses to admit it was her favourite since it was a lowly half a star restaurant that sometimes would force you to only pick one order. They were actually about half an hour late due to Ragna coming up to Rachel's mansion in a smelly dirty state. He tried to explain to Rachel but she just shocked him about ten times due to the foul smell. She made Ragna bathe five times before she spoke to him again. Rachel even made Nago and Gii cleanse the whole mansion twice as well. But despite all that she forgave Ragna anyways, especially when he gave her a rose tea cup as a present.

The couple walked into the restaurant to see Terumi and Noel eating together.

"What the hell is this?" Ragna arched an eyebrow. He saw a large food plate on the table…it was censored. Ragna gagged.

"Why isn't it the little puppy Rags? And the shitty vampire! As much as I'd love to ruin your disgusting little lolicon date I'm dining with precious Noel here." Terumi smirks as he places his arm around Noel's shoulder who blushed in embarrassment.

Ragna rolled his eyes. "Yeah f*** you too bastard." He then turns to Noel. "Why him he's an asshole and you know it." Ragna asks in curiosity.

Noel blushes like a tomato. "Er-erm…well…he really likes my cooking…" She stutters.

Ragna looks at the censored cooking…"Oh yeah…how is that even possible…" Ragna suddenly felt ill in the stomach looking at Noel's cooking. He could of swore he saw something moved in there.

Terumi scoops up a bite of Noel 's cooking and examines it. "How can you NOT like this fantastic…perfect legendary cooking! I can taste all the flavours of the world in one bite! Noel is truly a goddess in the kitchen." He then takes a bite.

Noel giggles. "Oh you're exaggerating…hehe."

"I'm really not, you know." Terumi grins at Noel.

Ragna and Rachel flinch as they witness Terumi eating Noel's food. "Yeah I bet it does…" Ragna mumbles. "By the way what happened with Tao?"

"That dumb cat was great in bed and all but didn't work out since I had to go to the hospital every night and I was getting broke from paying for all her food intake." Terumi shrugged.

Terumi then points a spoon at Ragna and Rachel. "Anyways you two pests are disturbing us. Shoo shoo." Terumi waves his hand off at the couple as an indication for them to get lost. He actually had a point so Ragna and Rachel left it at that and went to sit down on vacant table nearby.

In a nearby bush from the rooftop of a building (yes there was somehow a bush on top of the building) next to the Oriental Town restaurant hid Lambda-chan, Nu and Jin. All of them were looking through binoculars well except for Nu; she had a telescope for obvious reasons.

"…Target confirmed…Nu-13 and Jin Kisaragi should be stationed ready for Ragna." Lambda-chan reminds the two who nodded. They were ready to pounce at Ragna once the absolute love arrow hits him.

Lambda-chan goes into sniper mode and aims an arrow at Ragna's back. "…Pewpew." Lambda-chan fires the first absolute arrow. Jin and Nu immediately jumps off the building towards Ragna.

The absolute arrow fires with great speed and shoots cleanly through the window and is about to reach it's designated spot. However, a person suddenly blocks the path and gets impaled instead!

"GUAHH!" The person gets impaled from behind by the arrow and falls onto Ragna's and Rachel's table, ruining their meals.

"Oi what the hell?" Ragna stands up from his seat at the sudden crash. Nu and Jin kept their distance behind Ragna since they realised that Lambda-chan had missed.

"You missed dammit! Fire again!" Jin yells at Lambda-chan.

"Ouch…my back…what the hell hit me?" The man lifted himself off the table. He had black hair and was wearing a hybrid NOL uniform and Japanese clothing. It was Kagura Mutsuki.

"How dare you ruin our date you peasant. I should punish you." Rachel held out a hand ready to summon lightening before her hand was suddenly grabbed.

"My god I've been with many women in my lifetime but never had witnessed someone so perfect…" Kagura suddenly had love heart eyes as he kissed Rachel's hand. "You can punish me anytime." He winks.

"Hmph. At least you know someone of perfection when you see them. Ragna you should take some notes." Rachel smirked.

Ragna popped a vein in his head and pulled Kagura away from Rachel. "Oi bastard just what the hell do you think you're doing?!" He growled. "She's with me."

Kagura examines Ragna. "Unacceptable. This fair lady deserves a man that can take care of her. Not just some filthy criminal. Plus I'm more handsome." Kagura grinned and a shining light radiated throughout the room.

"M-MY EYES!" Ragna shielded his eyes from the burning light. The light was so bright that it even blinded Lambda-chan as she fired her second arrow. It pierced Jin.

"OUCH!" He yelped in pain. Luckily for Jin he auto-piloted and looked at Ragna and not so surprisingly he hasn't changed at all.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING!" Jin shakes his fist at Lambda-chan.

Lambda-chan tries to aim her third arrow at Ragna but he and Kagura got into a brawl. Rachel sat back down and drank her tea. She was commenting on how barbaric the two men were acting. It was too difficult to land a hit so Lambda tried to even up the odds and added another arrow to have a larger hit box.

"…Mega pew." Lambda fires her double absolute love arrows towards Ragna.

Ragna falls onto the ground in front of Ignis who was dining with Relius who looked like a bruised plum.

"!" The arrows had pierced Ignis. Ragna groaned in pain and lifted himself up, making eye contact with Ignis. Relius sees something funny going on with Ignis and questions her.

"Ignis what's the matter?" Relius arches an eyebrow.

Ignis ignores Relius's question and stands up from her chair. Ragna begins to sweat as he sees Ignis giving him an intense stare.

"What?" Ragna had to ask.

"…"

Suddenly Ignis wraps her claws arms around Ragna to hug him.

"BLARGE!" Blood flows out of Ragna's mouth like a waterfall as the claws stabs him. Relius's jaw dropped at the sudden action.

"M-my dear Ignis are you cheating on me in front of my very own eyes?" His voice broke. Relius couldn't believe what was happening. To think his wife would degrade herself into choosing the Grim reaper over a fine man like himself. Was it because of the time when he 'may' have had an intimate moment with one of the NOL nurses? Was this revenge? Because this was certainly working. Relius latches onto Ignis's leg.

"NOO DEAR IGNIS! DON'T LEAVE ME! I'LL DO MY OWN LAUNDRY FROM NOW ON I SWEAR!" Relius cried as Ignis tries to shake him off while still hugging poor Ragna to death.

Lambda-chan fires another arrow again but this time it somehow bounced off the walls and went outside the restaurant, throughout Kagutsuchi throughout the ocean and finally at Ikagura. It had pierced Amane Ninshiki who was checking himself out in the mirror.

"Ouch!" Amane cried as he pulled out the arrow from his ass. He then glances at the mirror.

"Why hello there gorgeous, looking handsome as usual." Amane places a hand on his chin and then walked off laughing to himself.

* * *

Lambda-chan checks her imaginary watch again. 11:50pm. She only had time to shoot one more arrow or several at once. She decided to just shoot all of the remaining absolute love arrows at once.

"Pewpewpew." Lambda-chan fires an ultimate love attack arrow at Ragna.

"GAHHH!" Lambda-chan successfully pierces someone…other than Ragna. This time it was Terumi.

"A-are you okay Terumi?" Noel looks over at Terumi with concern who fell off his chair. Rachel suddenly teleports on top of their table to get away from Kagura who wouldn't stop bothering her. Terumi groaned at the pain and sees Rachel above him.

"Damn shitty vampire when did you get so hot?" Terumi gives a wolf whistle at Rachel as he stands up.

Noel gasps at the comment. "W-what are you saying Terumi? How could you say that in front of me?!" She cried.

Terumi scoffed at Noel. "Go away you flat chested pile of tiles."

Noel's eyes widen. "…f-flat…" Terumi had spoken the taboo word.

"That's right. FLAT! Like paper or the floor or the ma-" Terumi stopped talking as a giant sword suddenly dropped behind Noel causing the dust to cover the whole area.

Random epic boss level over 9000 music began to play. Unlimited Mu activated.

Clouds began to darken around the area. Strong typhoon like winds suddenly blew. Bullet like water drops were pelting down onto the ceiling.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at Noel in her Mu-12 armour. Everyone felt the hatred energy emitting and oozing out of her. Noel flew up to the skies and summoned her unholy blades.

**"I…AM NOT…."**

"**Oh shi-"** said everyone in the restaurant.

**"FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!" **Noel screamed in fury as she slammed her colossal swords down onto the restaurant, causing everything to be destroyed.

ASTRAL_** FINISH!~**_

* * *

And so the clock hits 12am at the love clinic. It was a heroic hour of Lambda-chan's power hour. The city is now safe from lonely souls as everyone in the restaurant was emitted to the hospital together. Therefore, no one was lonely anymore! Lambda stands proudly at her work while holding a mop in her hand at the side. Tartar dropped a sweat behind his head but shrugged it off, technically Lambda did make everyone be together in the end so there was no harm in that…well except for the cuts and broken bones.

Now Lambda will resume back to being a cleaning maid for Kokonoe's love clinic until next time.

There was a click on the door. Lambda turns around to see that Kokonoe and Tager had returned from their trip.

"I'm back Lambda with our new employee who will be our body guard and second cleaning maid." Kokonoe yawns as she gestured the new employee to walk in.

"Heh this place isn't too shabby." Azrael commented as he walked in.

* * *

**Hope you all liked this special chapter! I'll be now going back to the usual after this and maybe Lambda-chan's power hour will return someday. And I wonder what type of shenanigans will arise with Azrael joining the love clinic crew :P See ya next chapter!**


	5. Birthday special!

**Hey guys I'm back again! I decided to dedicate this chapter to Rachel since it's her birthday today. Happy birthday to our dear loli-vampire princess!**

**Anyways, this is going to be another Ragna x Rachel chapter (but majority of the blazblue cast are in it!) since they were an established couple :P Unless you guys want someone else with Ragna or Rachel then feel free to suggest it xD I'm actually halfway through the next chapter but I wanted to post this one first for obvious reasons.**

** Happy Halloween guys! :)**

* * *

It was that time of the year again. It was the day that our dear SS criminal Grim reaper with the bounty exceeding in the billions hated and dreaded the most.

Halloween Day.

Normally he would make a grand trip away from civilization, isolating himself for a whole day. Yes. That was how far the man would go to avoid the "celebration". But, to his misfortune, agony, despair and betrayal of luck…it was also the same day as her birthday.

Rachel's birthday.

Ragna cursed silently under his breath. That damn rabbit could have been born on any other day! Her mother could've held her in for at least another day or so and that would have been perfectly fine. Okay he was sounding a bit far-fetched at the moment but that was how much he really really really hated Halloween!

What takes the icing on the cake is that the rabbit decided to hold a birthday celebration at her mansion and yep you guessed it, it was Halloween themed. Ragna sighs loudly. He actually wanted to spend the day with just the two of them, mostly because he didn't want anyone to see what he was going to give her. Perhaps he should visit Kokonoe about the issue, Ragna needed to somehow get by this quick since it was tomorrow night.

Ragna raises his arm to knock on the love clinic's door but it already opens. It was Kokonoe.

"I knew you would come." She grins.

* * *

Tomorrow night came. The Alucard Mansion was decorated with a mixture of birthday and Halloween decorations. There were colourful balloons in various shapes and sizes with some representing bats and cats. There were skeletons, jack o lanterns, random cob webs and other typical Halloween decorations placed around the whole area. Everything else remained the same as the Alucard Mansion was practically Halloween itself.

Rachel had opened a special gate that allowed the invited guests to enter through as normally the only way to get there was through teleportation which only a few people in this world possessed.

"Happy birthday Rachel!" Celica smiled as she gave her a hug. She was dressed as a witch. Well she just borrowed her sister Nine's hat and clothing. Behind her was Minerva who was wearing Celica's school uniform. She nodded at Rachel.

Rachel smiled back as she slightly bowed. "Thank-you Celica and Minerva. And I thank-you two for coming."

"Hehe! I'm so excited for this." Celica clasped her hand together. "Let's go say hi to the others Minerva!" The two of them began to walk into the Alucard Mansion.

Rachel watched as they walked into the ballroom then looked back outside. Everyone seemed to be here except for him.

"…So he really isn't coming…" She muttered to herself. Ragna and her actually had an argument two days ago about today. It wasn't her fault that the fool was afraid of ghosts…! But, maybe she shouldn't have called him a pathetic coward- that was when Ragna got pissed. Rachel sighs. She knew sometimes her sharp tongue got the better of her sometimes. But a fear is a fear.

"I suppose I'll apologize to him tomorrow…" Rachel muttered to herself again, sadly as she walked back inside to join the others. Despite knowing that she was wrong, she was still hoping that Ragna would come anyways but she guessed his fear got the better of him.

The golden grand ballroom was filled with birthday and Halloween decorations. There was a long white sheeted table spread across the room filled with various delicious foods and drink, some were even Halloween themed like the bloody mary punch. There was also another table in front of the room but not as big as the other. It was where all the presents and gifts that the guests had brought for Rachel.

Everyone in the ballroom were chatting among themselves, seemly enjoying the night so far.

"Aww Noelle I can't get over how cute you look!" Makoto latched onto Noel almost making her lose her balance.

"M-Makoto! Don't hug me like that or I'll fall!" Noel cried. She was dressed as a giant pumpkin with a green stem on her head. She was too afraid to dress as anything scary. Noel immediately rejected Hazama's idea as dressing up as a bloody dead panda.

Tsubaki giggled at the two. "But Makoto you and Carl look great as well!" She complimented.

"Hehe I know right?" Makoto twirled around in her costume. Her and Carl came as a zombie bride and groom. "You too Tsubaki." She added. Tsubaki was dressed as an angel.

Everyone else in the room wore different and unique costumes from each other. Amane dressed like a man, Bang just wore his lion cloth, Tao dressed as a dog whereas Valkenhayn dressed as a cat, Arakune wore a bride veil with pink flowers on it, Litchi dressed as the grudge which scared the shit out of everyone when she first arrived, Bullet dressed as a serial killer with a hockey mask, Luna was a dead cheerleader, Hakumen and Jin after hours of nagging and convincing by Tsubaki finally wore a simple ghost cloth. Then there was Relius and Ignis wearing a father and mother of the year t-shirts.

The Kokonoe's love clinic crew, featuring Nu were also here. Lambda and Nu wore a werewolf and vampire costumes whereas, Kokonoe, Tager and Azrael were wearing promotional clothing for their clinic. Kokonoe simply wore a large red cardboard cut-out of a love heart stuck on her head with her face in the middle, Tager and Azrael were in sexy nurse costumes.

"Again why are we wearing…this?" Tager was more surprised that Kokonoe managed to find a nurse costume in his size.

"It's actually quite comfortable." Azrael admitted as he examined himself.

Tager wanted to go home.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Kagura walked up to Hazama who was having a chat with Relius.

"Can't you tell?" Hazama smirked as he turned around and posed dramatically. "I am…the Prince of Darkness!" He declared. On Hazama's head were devil horns and a crown, he wore a black suit with a long black cape draped behind him. He was even holding a devil trident.

"Hah, you call that a prince costume?" Kagura scoffed.

"I don't see you wearing a costume?" Hazama arched an eyebrow. "Unless you came as an idiot."

Kagura than began to laugh darkly which puzzled the prince of darkness and father of the year. "Heheheh! I see what you did there snake. You see I wanted to dress as a handsome angel but then I realised I'm already am one! So there was no need to dress up." Kagura shot his infamous smile at the ladies nearby. His smile radiated and glowed throughout the room.

"MY EYES!" Hazama and all the other males shielded their eyes from the overwhelming light.

Rachel chuckled at the sight then someone gently poked her shoulder. "Milady it is time to open the gifts." Valkenhayn bowed at Rachel.

That's right she almost had forgotten about the gifts. She was too busy thinking about Ragna that she didn't really interact much with everyone. Rachel shook her head and smiled at Valkenhayn as the both of them walked to the present table. She shouldn't let one thing ruin her night.

Everyone crowded around the present table with curiosity and excitement. Rachel sat in the middle about to open her first gift. It was a medium size box wrapped in red.

"That's from me and Tsubaki. I hope you like it!" Makoto smiled eagerly. Tsubaki also nodded her head excitedly.

Rachel began to open the present. Inside the box was a tea cup kit. She had never seen a design like this one before but she liked it. Rachel held a tea up appreciatively, examining the little details on it.

"It looks like she likes it." Noel smiled as she whispered to Makoto and Tsubaki.

"Thank-you girls. I will be sure to take care of it." Rachel smiled as she placed the tea cup kit to the side and grabbed another present. The two girls then hi-fived each other triumphantly.

"What a lovely gift girls." Litchi smirked at them. "But I think Rachel will love my gift…especially Ragna." She winked at Rachel. Kagura, Hazama, Azrael and Relius glanced up and looking intrigued.

Rachel arched an eyebrow at Litchi then proceeded to open the gift. It revealed a kinky looking outfit that if it were to be worn, it would leave little to the imagination. Rachel held it up to see the rest of the outfit.

"…this is." Rachel was at a loss for words as she blushed slightly.

Kagura and Hazama blew a wolf whistle.

"I know right? Isn't it adorable and sexy at the same time? I'm sure you and Ragna would enjoy it. Don't forget to send me a picture when you wear it!" Litchi clasped her hands together enthusiastically. She was really into this.

"Don't forget to send me one as well." Hazama grinned.

"Yeah me too." Kagura added as he nodded approvingly at the kinky outfit.

"I wouldn't mind one too." Relius spoke. Ignis then suddenly smacked Relius's head from behind really hard.

"OW!" He yelped in pain. "Ignis dear it was a mere joke!" Relius cried as he rubbed his head painfully. Ignis glared menacingly and cracked her fist-like claws at Relius which were quite loud. It was as if she was saying _'try another joke, I dare you.' _

"You boys call yourself men? A bunch of perverts I say!" Bang exclaimed as he crossed his arms together. There was blood dripping from his nose. He 'accidentally' imagined Miss Litchi wearing the kinky kinky outfit.

"Heh I would off taken your words if your body agreed with you as well." Azrael laughed at the lion cloth ninja who realised his bloody nose and wiped it embarrassingly.

Celica titled her head innocently to the side in confusion. "Huh? What did Miss Litchi mean that Ragna will enjoy it as well?"

Noel nodded in agreement. "Yeah I don't get it as well." Makoto sniggered at the innocence between the two girls. Tsubaki just sighed. They were probably better off not knowing at the moment.

The conversation was heard by Kagura then he abruptly placed his arms around both Celica and Noel.

"Well ladies how about I buy you one each and then I'll show you?" He winked.

"NOT A CHANCE!" Makoto yelled as she landed a heavy forward punch to the stars on Kagura causing him to be blown away.

"GAHH!"

Rachel chuckled at the commotion. Then looked back at Litchi and bowed. "Thank-you Litchi…it's unique." She then placed the clothing back inside the box and brought out another present. This time it was thin. A drawing…? Rachel thought.

"Ah! That would be from yours truly, shitty vampire." Hazama stepped forward and titled his crown.

For a moment Rachel just wanted to toss the gift away. She knew it was probably something horrible or some sort of prank but she was more curious as to what it is. She then began to unwrap the present.

Rachel blinked as she looked at the frame. She then turned it around for everyone to see.

"Really Hazama? A portrait of yourself?" Rachel stared blankly at Hazama who grinned. It was indeed a portrait of Hazama smirking while sitting on an armchair holding up a glass of red wine.

Hazama shrugged. "I thought you might miss me too much so I gave you a memory."

Rachel looked down at the portrait again. "I suppose I could use this as target practice. Thank-you Hazama." She smirked.

"HEY! That's a vintage you know." Hazama whined.

"Umm…I baked you a birthday cake…" Noel smiled sheepishly as she brought over a tray.

Everyone in the room except for Hazama, Kagura and Celica took a huge step back. Kagura and Celica looked around confusingly.

Rachel was taken aback as Noel set the cake tray on the table. The so called cake was oozing out strange visible purple and green fragrance, it looked like a part of Arakune's black sludge body but colourful…and for some reason a part of the cake was censored. And did something just moved in there?!

Rachel was sweating bullets. No not Bullet. Bullets. Figuratively speaking. Anyways she looked up at Noel who was smiling like a sweet innocent angel waiting for Rachel to say something. Little did Noel know with her obliviousness that she was going to kill Rachel with this. Rachel immediately shoved the cake to the side.

"I'll have some later…there are still more gifts to open." Rachel tried to form a sincere and legitimate smile. Noel blinked at first then smiled back.

"Hehe okay! Tell me how it is later." Noel then walked back. Rachel sighed in relief as she wiped the sweats. Everyone then took a step forward.

The rest of Rachel's gift were either normal or…were…something. She received from Nu and … Jin? An album full of photos of Ragna, of course Ragna wasn't aware of this. There was even one where he was playing with Kaka kittens by himself. Rachel giggled at this. This was going to impair his manly badass reputation. However, there were some photos of Ragna that were quite questionable such as him sleeping and in the shower. She had hoped it was Nu that took these pictures. The love clinic crew gave Rachel some kind of 'special candy'. Kokonoe winked at Rachel and said that she didn't wait till her honeymoon. Tao gave Rachel her so called special tuna but it seemed that someone had already taken a bite out of it. Everyone else gave Rachel flowers, perfumes and other things.

"Thank-you everyone for the gifts." Rachel cracked a smile. She really was happy and found these presents enjoyable but she couldn't help but feel sad that Ragna wasn't here to celebrate her birthday as well. This was probably mainly due to the constant reminder of the Ragna-related gifts. She missed him.

Kokonoe saw the glint of sorrow in Rachel's eyes and smirked. "Hey why don't we all play a game together?" She suggested though it sounded more of a demand.

"OO TAO LOVES GAMES! LET'S PLAY MEO- I mean WOOF!" Tao suddenly jumped out of the crowd.

"What do you have in mind professor?" Litchi asked.

Kokonoe moved in front of everyone. "We'll play hide and seek! Rachel's mansion is perfect for it. How about it?"

Everyone was enlightened of the idea and agreed, especially the love clinic crew. For some reason it looked like they were following an order.

Rachel agreed as well since she felt like being alone now. Her party mood was lessening every minute, making her feel grumpy.

Kokonoe grinned. "Alright then it's settled. Any volunteers to be the seeker?"

"OOO ME TAO! TAO! I'M THE BEST SEEKER IN THE WORLD! ME-WOOF!" Tao immediately raised her arm ecstatically.

"Oho! I take your challenge my feline friend. Since I…BANG SHISHIGAMI! Is a professional ninja of the shadows." Bang grinned excitedly.

"I wonder where I'm going to hide…" Bullet lifted up her hockey mask as she scanned the room.

"Alright! Tao count to thirty! EVERYONE START HIDING NOW!" Kokonoe yelled as she began to bolt of herself.

Everyone jolted at the sudden instructions and ran off as Tao saluted at Kokonoe and hid her face.

"ONE…TWO…THREE…." Tao began to count.

"Tsubaki want to hide together with me?" Jin offered his hand to Tsubaki.

"I would love too." Tsubaki smiled as she placed her hands on Jin's. The two of them ran towards a hallway.

Azrael and Kagura ran towards the huge red curtains and hid behind it.

"Hey I was hear first mad dog!" Kagura whispered at Azrael loudly.

Azrael just kicked Kagura out.

"GAH!" Kagura face planted onto the ground.

"NINE…TEN…ELEVEN…"

Hazama threw his ouroboros chain up the ceiling, he then flew up and landed on the huge golden chandelier.

"That stupid cat will never find me here." He sniggered to himself.

Noel decided to hide under the dining table to find Bullet there already. Bullet smiled at Noel and pressed an index finger on her own lips as a sign for silence. Noel smiled back and hid beside Bullet.

"TWENTY-ONE…TWENTY-TWO…"

Tager, Nu, Litchi, Bang, Relius, Lambda and the others decided to find a hiding spot in the hallways as well.

Everyone else seemed to have found a hiding spot except for Rachel. The spots that she wanted to hide in were already taken or too full. No one seemed to want to share a spot with Rachel.

"TWENTY-SIX… TWENTY-SEVEN…" Tao was almost finished. Rachel began to panic. Then someone poked her shoulder. It was Kokonoe.

"Why don't you hide in the balcony? I saw no one there." Kokonoe whispered. Almost urgently. Rachel complied and immediately dashed towards the balcony.

"TWENTY-EIGHT…TWENTY-NINE…TWENTY-NINE…"

Hazama looked down at Tao from the chandelier at the sudden miscount.

"TWENTY…NINE…TW-TWENTY NINE…"

"Oh are you freaking serious? Actually I'm surprised she was able to pass ten…" Hazama muttered to himself. Little did he know there was a slight crack on the ceiling connecting to the chandelier. It was growing bigger.

"TWEN…TY…NINE…." Thirty seconds had passed almost a minute ago. Hazama grew impatient. He leaned his body forward to yell at the dumb cat.

"YOU STUPID CAT! IT'S THIR-" He yelled but suddenly the chandelier that he was sitting on broke off!

"GAHHH!" Hazama screamed as he fell onto the cold hard ground. Dust and smoke erupted around him.

"OH RIGHT THIRTY! MEOW!" Tao opened her eyes. She then blinked in slight confusion at the sight in front of her. There was Hazama seemly knocked out on the ground with swirly eyes.

"I FOUND YOU GREEN GUY! But meow you're not very good at hiding. Tao will teach you next time." She patted Hazama on the head as she past him who responded by sneezing.

Not too far from Hazama was a knocked out Kagura. "I FOUND YOU KAGNYA! This is too easy for Tao." She patted Kagura on the head as she past him who responded by saying his name was Kagura.

From a distance Rachel could hear vague shouting from where she was. It seemed that people were already getting discovered. The sounds were getting louder. Rachel walked backwards listening to the noises as she entered the balcony area. Suddenly a hand grabbed her on the shoulder.

Rachel immediately by instinct elbowed the unknown person in the gut.

"OW WHAT THE-!" The person cried in pain. Rachel faced the unknown person in a fighting position. When she realised who it was she lowered her arms.

"…Ragna?" Rachel spoke in disbelief. There was Ragna holding onto his stomach in pain. It was quite the heavy blow and Rachel just realised this. "Oh…I didn't mean to hurt you…" She spoke awkwardly since she also realised that the last time they talked they were in a fight.

"Nah it was my fault for sneaking up to you like that." Ragna stood up as he recovered.

"It's alright…" Rachel trailed off. "…so why are you here? I thought you didn't want to come."

Ragna scratched his head. "I didn't come for the Halloween party. I came here for you, for your birthday." He then looked at Rachel directly in the eyes, causing her to blush instantly.

"I-I see…" Rachel stuttered not really knowing what to say. She was caught off guard by Ragna's no nonsense talk, at the moment for the first time Ragna was in control of a conversation. Normally it would be Rachel always taking a jab at him.

"Here." Ragna held out a small present box. It didn't look anything special. It was actually poorly wrapped. It made Rachel smile already as she grabbed the box.

She opened the lid of the box revealing a small silver necklace with a rabbit head on it. A Rabbit. Rachel blushed again. It was perfect.

"It's lovely." Rachel mumbled, mostly to herself. She then felt Ragna placing his hand on hers. She then looked up as she spoke.

"What is it-" Rachel eyes widen at the sudden action. Ragna had kissed her.

After a few seconds he pulled away. "Happy birthday Rabbit." He said as he scratched his face and looked away. It was his turn to be blushing.

Rachel was dumbfounded for a second and then smirked. "That was dirty yet bold of you." She giggled as she placed her fingers on her lips as she looked up to Ragna. "But I liked it."

Ragna's face flushed again. "Whatever."He huffed. Out of nowhere there was a tapping sound on a window near the two. Ragna and Rachel turned around to see what it was. Colour drained on Ragna's face.

Inside the window was everyone grinning and smirking at Ragna as if they were saying_. 'You sly dog, you_~' Most of the girls and Hazama were holding up their mobile phones and cameras to capture the moment. Kokonoe was holding the most biggest and expensive looking camera of all.

"YOU TOLD EVERYONE KOKONOE?!" Ragna yelled as his face flushed even more.

Kokonoe shrugged. "I didn't. They just all followed me here. Couldn't do much about it." She passively argued back as she snapped another picture. These photos were going to look great for the love clinic.

"Ragna my man! You've gained my respect!" Kagura cheered.

"I'm going to write a poem about this hehe." Noel brought out a paper and pen.

"Don't forget to wear the outfit later Rachel!" Litchi called out.

"Damn you all!" Ragna shouted in embarrassment. Rachel chuckled.

Ragna turned around as he heard Rachel laughing. "Don't laugh. And what is this outfit Litchi was talking about?" Rachel jolted at the question.

"Don't worry about it…yet."

* * *

**LOL this chapter was really fun to write. I could of extended the chapter a little more longer but there wasn't enough time. But I hope you guys enjoyed it nevertheless. See you next chapter!**


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